Oscar Liveblog, Part II: The Hour with Energy

  • Jon Stewart looks a little nervous here, but he’s warming up.
  • Okay, he needs to lose the self-consciousness.
  • Matt Dillon + a certain smile he has = Jim Carrey’s long-lost brother
  • George Clooney—oh, I had that, then I changed it. “I’m proud to be out of touch with mainstream America.” What a doll.
  • I would pick Reese Witherspoon to play me in the film of my biography because she seems like the only blonde in Hollywood type-A enough to understand the character.
  • Woo, “Wallace and Gromit”! I must have some cheese.
  • Now I feel compelled to cast the rest of my biographical film. Katy: Selma Blair? No, Selma Blair is always the bitchy brunette friend, and Katy deserves better than that. I will have to think about this one. Rachel: Naomi Watts. Ben: Joaquin Phoenix, or maybe Luke Wilson or Ralph Fiennes. My mother: Frances McDormand. My father: Dennis Quaid, just to please my mother. My sister: Kirsten Dunst. Melissa Anelli: Kate Winslet. Ted: Owen Wilson (the smart side of him, and with longer hair). Jimmy: Tony Leung. My grandmother: Judi Dench. My grandfather: Jack Nicholson. (Y’all can feel free to chime in and suggest your own.)
  • How old is Dolly Parton? Goodness, 60. And still fabulous, though that pantsuit isn’t.
  • They are clicking right through this show—on “Best Costume Design” already.
  • Katy: Drew Barrymore, with dark hair and more brains. There we go.
  • The makeup design winner just cited “Where the Wild Things Are” as a formative influence. Good man.
  • Ooh, Rachel Weisz could play Katy. This is just going to dominate my thinking for the rest of the night.
  • “The Constant Gardener” was a fantastic film. It deserved more recognition tonight than it’s getting.