For my LA SCBWI talk, I'm writing a bunch of bad picture-book manuscripts that I use to illustrate the principles of good picture-book manuscripts, and I wrote this one to illustrate "No Child Appeal." It has since been revised in another direction to make it even worse, but this version rather amused me, so I'm posting it here as an outtake. There's nothing in it based on real life, no, not at all . . .
Cheryl and Katy were best friends.
Cheryl had just been dumped by her boyfriend.
Katy wanted to cheer her up.
“I know!” Katy said.
“Let’s go eat ice cream!”
So they went to the ice-cream parlor.
Katy had mint chocolate chip.
Cheryl had Phish Food.
But she was still sad.
“I know!” Katy said.
“Let’s go get pedicures!”
So they went to the nail salon.
Katy’s toes were painted a bright, hot pink.
Cheryl’s toes were painted a deep, rich red.
Cheryl wiggled her toes.
But she was still sad.
“I know!” Katy said.
“Let’s go shopping!”
So they went to Designer Shoe Warehouse.
Cheryl tried on a pair of platforms . . .
A pair of wedges . . .
A pair of boots . . .
A pair of stilettos . . .
A pair of sneakers . . .
A pair of clogs . . .
A pair of oxfords . . .
A pair of flip-flops . . .
A pair of wing-tips . . .
Until finally she found shoes that were just right.
She used them to stomp on the picture of her ex-boyfriend.
And then, Cheryl was happy.
Cheryl and Katy were best friends.
Cheryl had just been dumped by her boyfriend.
Katy wanted to cheer her up.
“I know!” Katy said.
“Let’s go eat ice cream!”
So they went to the ice-cream parlor.
Katy had mint chocolate chip.
Cheryl had Phish Food.
But she was still sad.
“I know!” Katy said.
“Let’s go get pedicures!”
So they went to the nail salon.
Katy’s toes were painted a bright, hot pink.
Cheryl’s toes were painted a deep, rich red.
Cheryl wiggled her toes.
But she was still sad.
“I know!” Katy said.
“Let’s go shopping!”
So they went to Designer Shoe Warehouse.
Cheryl tried on a pair of platforms . . .
A pair of wedges . . .
A pair of boots . . .
A pair of stilettos . . .
A pair of sneakers . . .
A pair of clogs . . .
A pair of oxfords . . .
A pair of flip-flops . . .
A pair of wing-tips . . .
Until finally she found shoes that were just right.
She used them to stomp on the picture of her ex-boyfriend.
And then, Cheryl was happy.