And no one in Park Slope either

Nobody Dies in the Spring

Nobody dies in the spring
on the Upper West Side:
nobody dies.

On the Upper West Side
we're holding hands with strangers
on the Number 5 bus,
and we're singing the sweet
graffiti on the subway,
and kids are skipping patterns through
the bright haze of incinerators,
and beagles and poodles are making a happy
ruin of the sidewalks,
and hot-dog men are racing
their pushcarts down Riverside Drive,
and Con Ed is tearing up Broadway
from Times Square to the Bronx,
and the world is a morning miracle
of sirens and horns and jackhammers
and Baskin-Robbins' 31 kinds of litter
and sausages at Zabar's floating
overhead like blimps--oh,
it is no place for dying, not
on the Upper West Side, in springtime.

There will be a time
for the smell of burning leaves at Barnard,
for milkweed winging silky over Grant's Tomb,
for apples falling to grass in Needle Park;
but not in all this fresh new golden
smog: now there is something
breaking loose in people's chests,
something that makes butchers and busboys
and our neighborhood narcs and muggers
go whistling in the streets--now
there is something with goat feet out there, not
waiting for the WALK light, piping
life into West End window-boxes,
pollinating weeds around
condemned residential hotels,
and prancing along at the head
of every elbowing crowd on the West Side,
singing:

Follow me-- it's spring--
and nobody dies.

-- Philip Appleman
Courtesy of "The Writer's Almanac"

Hurrah for Hans! & Listserv Mania

Because I am a bad cousin and have not yet sent a graduation card, a quick hurrah here for my cousin Hans, who graduated from Iowa State University on Saturday with a degree in Landscape Architecture. Rumor has it he will shortly be bound for this coast to work in preservation, so watch out, Eastern Seaboard: The blond Kleins are taking over. Yay Hans!

+++

This has nothing whatsoever to do with Hans, but I am subscribed to six listservs (between work and home) that give me a daily dose of news, beauty, insight, and humor, and might be of interest to others:
  • A.Word.A.Day -- the original and best; a word and quotation per day.
  • The Writer's Almanac -- from Minnesota Public Radio, a daily poem (usually contemporary, which has introduced me to wonderful poets like Stephen Dunn and William Stafford) and "this day in literary history." May 9 was J. M. Barrie's birthday, for the record.
  • Weeknight Kitchen from The Splendid Table -- also from MPR, a weekly e-mail with great recipes. Some of them are more complicated than others (the Balthazar macaroni and cheese requires four different types of cheese, for example), but they always sound delicious, and those I've actually made have unfailingly proven to be so.
  • child_lit -- for anyone interested in contemporary children's literature and related topics, which in the recent past have included book banning, religious conservatism, libraries, theatre, the Gates, sports mascots, and stamp collecting. Philip Pullman is a member, and it's always a pleasure and shock when he posts: like having God suddenly speak in the middle of a church service (inappropriate as that simile may be for him).
  • Unshelved -- I get weekly digests of these cartoons about life in a public library. So-so art, but terrific writing and a very funny cast.
  • FoxTrot -- Bill Amend may be only the second-most-brilliant comic-strip creator named Bill, but *he's* still around, and no one's better at parodying present pop culture (especially geekwise).

The Happy List, Germany edition

If you've already heard me talk about the trip or gotten a postcard from me, much of this will be familiar, but here goes:

  • On my first night in Germany, a bath in a gorgeously deep, long European bathtub, with my Henning Mankell mystery novel and towels heating on a towel-warmer. Afterward I put on my pajamas, snuggled under my duvet, watched MTV2Pop and the BBC, read more of the Mankell, and wrote in my journal: the perfect ending to a day that began with an eight-hour international flight, and more significantly, what felt like the first time I'd relaxed in nearly four months.
  • Smart cars and many Minis
  • Eating "seemans labskaus" for dinner in Hamburg -- that is, "seaman's lobscouse," a dish Jack and Stephen eat in Patrick O'Brian (which of course is why I ordered it). It consisted of pureed beef, potatoes, and beetroot, if I remember rightly, with two fried eggs on top. As a dinner it lacked variety, but I could see how it would be the perfect sailors' meal: easy to make in large quantities, heavy, warming, and pure protein.
  • Shooting south from Hamburg to Stuttgart and later Stuttgart to Munich on those brilliant European bullet trains: comfortable, warm, fast, quiet, good onboard cafes with real china and silverware -- the very antithesis of Amtrak.
  • Those marvelous timetable-announcement signs clicking as they flipped from one destination to another
  • Beating the editor of the Horn Book at Scrabble, thanks to BEAVERS, JO, OX, ZIP, and most significantly BURQA on a triple. It was a really good game -- I would have been happy even if I lost (though less happy, I admit). And we played on his Palm Pilot, which has me thinking I need to get a Palm Pilot . . .
  • Many wonderful dinners spent discussing publishing, books, politics, sights to see, and other topics with nice German editors and foreign rights people. One of the best of these was at the Unicorn pub in Esslingen, which had been there since, I think, 1671.
  • The fine Stuttgart and Munich public transportation systems, especially the Munich trams
  • Stopping by G. W. F. Hegel's house in Stuttgart. All the displays were in German, and nothing in the house was original except the structure, so it didn't do me much good knowledgewise; but the very act of visiting pleased my Quiz Bowler's soul.
  • Getting to know the many smart, booky people on the tour with me -- not least Roger Sutton, the aforementioned editor of the Horn Book, who I ended up liking very much.
  • The uncanny: Hearing a cover of the Garth Brooks song "If Tomorrow Never Comes" in a taxi in Stuttgart; seeing commands in German on the same kind of office copier we use at Scholastic; the sweeter taste of "Coca-Cola Light" (Diet Coke)
  • Visiting the Hofbrauhaus, a large barnlike structure in the heart of Munich, filled with tourists and Munich residents alike drinking one-liter glasses of beer, eating various kinds of sausage and potatoes, and occasionally singing along with the in-house polka band. I polished off an entire one-liter myself -- definitely the most beer I've ever drunk at one sitting -- and enjoyed it enormously.
  • Purchasing a "disco shirt" -- a black tank top with a large rhinestone butterfly fluttering across the front, hotcha hotcha -- at a store called "The New Yorker"
  • Dancing in two very different Munich nightclubs
  • Getting hit on twice (once per nightclub) -- neither was my type (or spoke English, for that matter), but a little admiration never hurts
  • The long walk along the canal to Nymphenborg Palace, and later another long walk through the almost too perfectly manicured palace grounds.
  • Radler -- this delightful combination of beer and lemonade; especially delicious when sipped outside at a sidewalk cafe
  • Ludwig II's castles. Linderhof and Neuschwanstein. The poor man obviously had to create fantasy worlds for himself because he didn't have any real friends, but what fantasy worlds they were -- especially the Byzantine throne room and the Wagner-inspired interiors at Neuschwanstein.
  • The Maypole and May Day folk dancers in the village below Neuschwanstein
  • Men in lederhosen and women in dirndls
  • The Alps -- beautiful peaks and valleys dusted with bright yellow dandelions and edged with tall white birches; hills practically alive with the Sound of Music
  • Drinking at the Chinescher Turm beergarden with a nice young Canadian I met on the castle tour. We need more beergardens in the United States, I've decided: outdoor cafes in parks where people can sit outside on a summer night and enjoy cold drinks and good conversation.
  • The African drumming circle in the Englischer Garden on Sunday evening, which reminded me fondly of the African drumming circle in Prospect Park on Sunday afternoons
  • Reading the International Herald Tribune over a gigantic continental breakfast: muesli, yogurt, cheese, salami, rolls, chocolate pudding, croissants with European Nutella, orange juice, and tea
  • Sitting at the fourth-floor window of my charmingly shabby pension in Munich, the Hotel Jedermann, and writing postcards
  • Coming home hugely satisfied from an interesting and productive trip

Getting down in Germany

I am pleased to report that in the last three days, I have drunk a full liter of beer at the Hofbrauhaus; bought what is undoubtedly the trampiest shirt I have ever owned at a store called The New Yorker; worn it to extremely good effect in two separate discos, one of them filled with twentysomething whippersnappers grooving to club versions of '60s music, the other with thuggish-looking young Turks (literally) nodding to 50 Cent; and visited one palace (with two more to come tomorrow).

I am tired, I am sunburnt, and I have stories to tell.

Guten tag der Deutschland!

Not that anyone is checking this this week because I said I wouldn't post; but making a blog post from Stuttgart, Germany is just as cool as making one through the air, so here I go! I hope you all are having lovely weeks. I sent two postcards yesterday and more will be written soon. Having lots of good conversations with publishers; seeing lots of good books (though many fewer that will work in the American market); eating lots of German food (spaetzle!) though not drinking a lot of beer as of yet -- mostly wine, though I expect that will change tonight when we go to Munich and the Hofbrauhaus. I love Smart cars; also the Boss Hoss's version of "Hey Ya!", which I saw on MTV2Pop. I have a cold, thanks to travelling, I think, but I am not letting that slow me down, dammit. And speaking of which, I need to run -- if I hurry I can see Hegel's house before I have to be back at the hotel. Hurrah for dorky fun!

(And -- AND -- I beat the editor of the Horn Book magazine at Scrabble. Ha!)

Talk to you all soon!

Happy Seven-Month Birthday to Me!

Yes, it's the 22nd, so I am now officially twenty-six years and seven months old. Yay me! For those of you who do not practice fractional birthdays: Why not? It provides a perfectly rational excuse/justification to stay in bed another half-hour or have another cookie/drink/fifteen minutes in the sun. Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate.)

Yes, I just quoted a Kool and the Gang song in my post. Shut. Up.

It is Thursday night, and I am tired, so this might be a little loopy. Arthur and I argued today about flap copy for one of our books, The Valley of the Wolves by Laura Gallego Garcia. Arguments over any form of editorial work are always interesting because they are basically arguments over taste: I read, hear, understand this text this way; you read, hear, understand it that way; and as one's editorial personality (and hence entire editorial life) is built around this ability to read and understand texts, any difference between those two understandings can get pretty individual and pretty heated pretty damn quickly. Arthur and I have the same tastes 92 percent of the time -- we had similar tastes to begin with, and then he trained me. But the other eight percent, like the two sentences under question in this copy, always surprise me. Usually I come around to his perspective, because usually I realize he's right; after all, besides having great instincts, he has twenty more years of editing experience than I do. But in this case he was just wrong. Still, I changed the copy anyway, because there was no way we were going to agree on it, because we both have plenty of other things to stress over and this wasn't worth it, and because he's my boss. So. When the book comes out, you all can look at the flap copy and tell me my way was better, even if you don't know what it was.

I am going to Germany on Saturday and this is what is in my bookbag:
  • Gilead by Marianne Robinson (Carleton Book Club selection for May)
  • The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (the Pevear/Volohonsky translation, which I demanded when the Barnes & Noble lackey tried to foist one of their cheap B&N Books old-fashioned Constance Garnett translations on me: I don't think so; a Resolution book)
  • The Tenth Power by Kate Constable (copyedited manuscript for review)
  • The Valley of the Wolves by Laura Gallego Garcia (edited manuscript for further review)
  • One Step Behind by Henning Mankell (a terrific mystery novel set in Sweden; my relaxation book, no work or assignment involved)
  • The last two New Yorkers
  • The Klutz book on knitting, with needles and yarn included (maybe; I have to see if I can take the needles on the plane)
  • My writing notebook

What I really want is a good, funny, frothy romance novel (a Jennifer Crusie would be perfect) or another mystery (a Laura Lippmann, especially), but I know from experience that if I have one of these I will never get any of my work done, much less read the serious books -- I bought three books rather than reading the Moby Dick I'd brought when I was in England and Holland two years ago. And possibly taking five books for an eight-day trip is a little excessive already. But God spare me ten minutes without reading material. . . . I have certainly planned this list with far more care than I've planned my wardrobe for the trip thus far. :-)

So I'm departing on Saturday, and this will probably be my last post until I return in May. Have a wonderful ten days, all! Enjoy the spring! Call your senators in protest of the nuclear option! Leave comments! Eat chocolate!

Further Proof That I Am a Virgo (In Case Any Was Needed)

(I know it's generally inexcusably rude and egotistical to repeat one's own witticisms as anecdotes, but as this was an unconscious witticism that just continues to prove my extreme dorkiness, I hope you all will forgive me.)

So Friday Rachel and I are eating lunch with one of our marketing people and I remind Rachel of something we have to remember to do for a manuscript we're excited about (about which we're excited). The talk runs naturally from there to competing publishers to the history of Scholastic to our forthcoming books, and we start brainstorming children's writers who explore religious themes and who might blurb The Book of Everything. The names are flowing, I know I won't remember them on top of everything else I have to take care of, I start groping for a pen and paper, and then I say --

"Wait a minute. . . . I feel a to-do list coming on."

Ay.

Editing kvelling & Phoebe Amelia Blair

I have just been line-editing the translation of a brilliant Dutch novel we're publishing in Spring 2006: The Book of Everything by Guus Kuijer, translated by John Nieuwenhuizen (who also translated our equally brave and brilliant In the Shadow of the Ark). And I *love* doing this, going through a text and finding the places where the writer's meaning isn't communicating itself quite so perfectly as it could, where the clear stream of thought and emotion is eddying around a rock of a wrong word or a typographical error or a feeling that isn't shared by the reader -- and getting to help pick out the rock. It feels so good, like a kind of linguistic tikkun olam: helping to make the world (or at least the author's vision of it) whole. And it's going to be a marvelous, kick-ass, and hopefully HUGELY controversial book -- mothers get beaten! Jesus hangs out with the main character! God dies! And fundamentalists everywhere get exactly what they deserve! (Though they probably won't understand the book and will ironically try to ban it, a la The Giver. I can't wait.)

One point is distressing me, though: At one point Jesus says "Just good, or bloody good?" This is a book putatively intended for nine- to twelve-year-olds, who may not know the British locution "bloody" (our translator is Australian). Rachel and I have been brainstorming alternate words with no luck; "super" is too surfer, "really" too weak, we're reserving "damned" for later in the book . . . any suggestions?

Also this week I sent off the second-pass proofs of Lisa Yee's wonderful Stanford Wong Flunks Big-Time (the companion to her likewise excellent Millicent Min, Girl Genius*), and while it does not feature atheism and trumpet-playing sparrows, it is SO GOOD and so surprising and satisfying. . . . I still laugh and get a lump in my throat every time I read it, and as this was probably my seventh (?) go-round with the text, that's how you know it's quality. It's coming out in October.

* And look for the After Words edition of Millicent Min with "extras" by Lisa Yee and Cheryl Klein, this summer at a bookstore near you.

< /shameless editorial book huckstering >

+++

My friend Hilary and her husband Dave just had their first baby: Phoebe Amelia Blair, born April 13, 2005. None of you know Hilary and Dave, but please send a good wish into the ether for parents and child. Hurrah!

A quick post . . .

. . . between organizing the Carleton New York Cares Day project on Saturday and editing a novel for the next hour before going to bed
  • to remark that anyone who wants to gets a postcard from Germany needs to make a comment by Friday if s/he hasn't already. I welcome totally random comments that have nothing to do with anything on the blog; God knows that would actually be in keeping with the overall tone of this thing.
  • to note that I love Modest Mouse's "Good News for People Who Love Bad News," even though the lyrics describe a worldview much more pessimistic and negative than my own; I usually try to avoid depressing lyrics, but the music itself here is so good that I can ignore the words
  • to observe that I am listening to "Sunday in the Park with George" right now, and it is giving me goosebumps even coming out of my pathetic laptop speakers
  • to post a link to a fascinating article about differences between black and white children's names: http://www.slate.com/id/2116449/ (There is something ungrammatical in that sentence but I won't worry about it right now.)
  • to confess that I shoplifted a Lonely Planet guidebook to Germany from my local Barnes & Noble today -- entirely inadvertently; I took a large novel out of my really large purse and put it down while I was digging for my notebook, then, after I had finished writing down all the information I needed out of the guidebook, I put the equally large guidebook in my purse instead of the novel and walked out with it. I was approaching my apartment, rummaging for my keys, when I realized what I'd done, so I ran the five blocks back to the B&N, put the guidebook back on its shelf, and reclaimed the novel, which thankfully was sitting exactly where I'd left it. This is the second or third time in my life I've stolen things out of complete absentmindedness; I accidentally absconded with a pocket calendar from the Brooklyn Museum gift shop a few years ago (and then knocked over the entire rack of pocket calendars while surreptitiously returning it a few days later). Crime would be so much cooler and more transgressive if I were actually aware I was doing it.
  • to recommend "Head-On" highly, and "Hitch" if you need a few easy laughs and eye candy. Rachel and I went to see "Hitch" together and much of it was shot in Soho, around Spring Street, so I kept nudging her to point out locations that are about seven blocks from where we work. There is probably something interesting to say about its view of men, women, relationships, and the New York dating scene, but I'm barely thinking coherently at the moment, so my enormously insightful analysis (ha) will have to wait. But "Head-On" is brilliant. Go see it when it comes to a theatre near you.
  • to wish my father a happy birthday, not that he has any clue that I have a blog, or even what a blog is. But nonetheless: Happy birthday, Dad!
  • to procrastinate, in essence. Don't tell Arthur.

Signs That Spring Has Returned to Prospect Park

  • The Mr. Softee truck at the corner of 11th St. and Prospect Park West
  • Wonderful soft green grass spread like a quilt beneath the still-brown trees
  • Baseball games at the ball fields
  • Me in a jeanskirt, a short-sleeved shirt, and no hose, reading on a park bench with my shoes off
  • Families having picnics
  • Skateboarders at the bandshell
  • Lovers wrapped around each other on blankets beneath trees
  • Later: Me running in shorts and a t-shirt
  • The weather at the perfect temperature for running: warm enough to be comfortable, but cool enough that you don't get overheated
  • Kids on Big Wheels
  • Dry horse trails (as opposed to muddy or snow-covered ones) (better for running, btw)
  • Robins
  • The little Hasidic girls wearing long pink skirts rather than black skirts as they take their Sunday walk with their parents
  • Willow trees frothing green
  • Nicely built men running with no shirts on (you never see the unnicely built ones without shirts)
  • The return of the African drumming circle
  • The sounds of their drums thrumming throughout the park
  • Redbud trees in bloom
  • White flowers on some other kind of tree (sorry, Ted, I'm ignorant on this point)
  • More people than I've seen during all my winter runs combined
  • Daffodils
  • Birds tweetering
  • At home, later still: the sound of the Mr. Softee song as the truck returns to the garage for the night

The Pirate Game.

Last Saturday night, on the way home from the movies, Katy turned to me and said out of the blue, "Do you know what kind of socks pirates like to wear?"

Well, there was only one possible reply to that, so I answered, "Arrr-gyle."

And thus, with Ben's punning assistance, the Pirate Game was born. The two rules of the Pirate Game are (1) the answer has to include the word "Arr!" in some way and (2) you have to say that part of the answer with appropriate relish. Beyond that, you can be as highbrow or lowbrow, serious or silly as you like. Here are some examples:

Where do pirates like to go for vacation? Arr-gentina; also Arr-uba and Arr-kansas.
What's their favorite Bible story? Noah's Arr-k.
And national holiday? Arr-bor Day.
And arr-tistic discipline? Arr-chitecture.
What part of Spain do pirates most like to pillage? Arr-agon.
Who's a pirate's favorite Dadaist? A tie: Jean Arr-p and Tristan Tzarr-a.
When a bad pirate is punished for his misdeeds, what do you call that? Karr-ma.
What's a pirate's favorite way to relax? Arr-omatherapy.

Have fun making up your own! And all together now:

ARRRRR!

A really long poem by Bob Dylan.

(Note from me: This poem came up in a discussion on the Child_Lit listserv about how to deal with people who try to ban books. While I am not sure all of the advice is sound, eating yogurt and going to bed early seems as practical a way to deal with George W. Bush as any other at the moment. And peanut butter, most definitely.)

Advice for Geraldine on her Miscellaneous Birthday

stay in line. stay in step. people
are afraid of someone who is not
in step with them. it makes them
look foolish t' themselves for
being in step. it might even
cross their minds that they themselves
are in the wrong step. do not run
nor cross the red line. if you go
too far out in any direction, they
will lose sight of you. they'll feel
threatened. thinking that they are
not a part of something that they
saw go past them, they'll feel
something's going on up there that
they don't know about. revenge
will set in. they will start thinking
of how t' get rid of you. act
mannerly towards them. if you don't,
they will take it personal. as you
come directly in contact face t' face
do not make it a secret of how
much you need them. if they sense
that you have no need for them,
the first thing they will do is
try t' make you need them. if
this doesn't work, they will tell
you of how much they don't need
you. if you do not show any sadness
at a remark such as this, they
will immediately tell other people
of how much they don't need you.
your name will begin t' come up
in circles where people gather
to tell about all the people they
don't need. you will begin t' get
famous this way. this, though, will
only get the people who you don't need
in the first place
all the more madder.
you will become
a whole topic of conversation.
needless t' say, these people
who don't need you will start
hating themselves for needing t' talk
about you. then you yourself will
start hating yourself for causing so
much hate. as you can see, it will
all end in one great gunburst.
never trust a cop in a raincoat.
when asked t' define yourself exactly,
say you are an exact mathematician.
do not say or do anything that
he who standing in front of you
watching cannot understand, he will
feel you know something he
doesn't. he will react with blinding
speed and write your name down.
talk on his terms. if his terms
are old-fashioned an' you've
passed that stage all the more easier
t' get back there. say what he
can understand clearly. say it simple
t' keep your tongue out of your
cheek. after he hears you, he can
label you good or bad. anyone will
do. t' some people, there is only
good an' bad. in any case, it will
make him feel somewhat important.
it is better t' stay away from
these people. be careful of
enthusiasm...it is all temporary
an' don't let it sway you. when asked
if you go t' church, always answer
yes, never look at your shoes. when
asked you you think of gene autry
singing of hard rains gonna fall say
that nobody can sing it as good as
peter, paul and mary. at the mention
of the president's name, eat a pint of
yogurt an' go t' sleep early...when
asked if you're a communist, sing
america the beautiful in an
italian accent. beat up nearest
street cleaner. if by any
chance you're caught naked in a
parked car, quick turn the radio on
full blast an' pretend
that you're driving. never leave
the house without a jar of peanut
butter. do not wear
matched socks. when asked to do 100
pushups always smoke a pound
of deodorant beforehand.
when asked if you're a capitalist, rip
open your shirt, sing buddy can
you spare a dime with your
right foot forward an' proceed t'
chew up a dollar bill.
do not sign any dotted line. do not
fall in trap of criticizing people
who do nothing else but criticize.
do Not create anything. it will be
misinterpreted. it will not change.
it will follow you the
rest of your life. when asked what you
do for a living say you laugh for
a living. be suspicious of people
who say that if you are not nice
t' them, they will commit suicide.
when asked if you care about
the world's problems, look deeply
into the eyes of he that asks
you, he will not ask you again. when
asked if you've spent time in jail,
announce proudly that some of your
best friends've asked you that.
beware of bathroom walls that've not
been written on. when told t' look at
yourself...never look. when asked
t' give your real name...never give it.

And now for something completely different!

A nice long news roundup. If you do not live in New York, you can skip #2 and #3; if you do not like music, you can skip #1 and 4; and if you do not like mail, then #5 is not for you. Or you can read everything. Your call.

1. My dear friend Miss Kathryne Beebe marked her 27th birthday Tuesday, and we celebrated by seeing a musical about unwashed peasants, flying cows, horned (and horny) knights, and snotty Frenchmen -- to wit, SPAMALOT. Katy is doing her doctorate in medieval history on monks and nuns, so her favorite part was the pas de deux between the putative Abelard and Heloise; but I preferred the song-and-dance number "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" and the quasi-inspirational ballad "Find Your Grail." (The program is great too.) It is, all in all, a very silly musical, but the silliness is expertly done, and we had a fantastic time, with dinner afterward at Bistro de Vent. Happy birthday, Katy!

2. A request for all my New York friends who read this (the easy one): If you would be so kind as to save your MetroCards for me, I am collecting them for a new ongoing art project. Thank you!

3. A request for all my New York friends who read this (the onerous one): On Saturday, April 16, the New York Carleton Club will be participating in New York Cares' annual Spring Clean-Up Day -- and you can join us EVEN IF you didn't go to Carleton! We'll be working at Inwood Hill Park up on the northern tip of Manhattan, helping to clean the drainage system that runs for miles throughout the park, which has gotten clogged with leaves over the last few months. As our site captain says, "It may not sound like the most glamorous assignment, but it’s a vital task that must be accomplished in order for the park to continue functioning – we will really be making a vast difference and improvement with just one day of work!!" This is a marvelous opportunity for all we cooped-up New Yorkers to get out and experience nature as spring comes creeping in, and a marvelous opportunity to give back to the city of New York, which gives so much to us all. The project starts at the park at 9:30 a.m., and I will bring doughnuts and coffee for everyone. I would LOVE to have all my WONDERFUL friends come out and join me in this EXTREMELY FUN day of good useful work. Yes, this means YOU, you New Yorker. You can e-mail me for more information. Thank you!

4. For those of you who are interested, I picked Modest Mouse's "Good News for People Who Like Bad News" as my last free CD from BMG. Modest Mouse beat out Al Green, Nina Simone, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Justin Timberlake, Wilco, U2, Beyonce, "A Little Night Music," a Best of Bollywood compilation, and the rest of the BMG catalogue on the basis of two factors: (1) I love "Float On" and (2) this CD is actual hip modern rock and therefore utterly unlike anything else in my collection. Though the fact that "Good News" has been out for a year now probably means it isn't hip anymore. And the fact that I use the word "hip" probably means I'm not either. Oh well, I try.

5. A few weeks from now, I'll be going on a trip to Germany with five other children's book editors. In keeping with my Resolution to send more mail, and because, hey, I like getting mail too, I'm making a limited-time-only, all-expenses-paid, operators-are-standing-by offer: If you post an interesting comment to the blog between now and April 15, I will send you a postcard from Germany! I cannot promise I will say anything of significance in the postcard, but hey! It will be mail from Germany! And how is that not cool? Please note that if I do not know you, you will need to leave your name and snail-mail address as well as a comment. (Actually, it's not a bad idea to leave those things even if I do know you.) And if you've left a comment prior to this, sorry, it doesn't count -- you have to say something new within the allotted time frame. Here, I will make a few inflammatory statements to get you started:

The Red Sox will never again win the World Series.

Jane Austen is the greatest writer the English language has ever produced.

"Ice Princess"? Best. Movie. Ever.

Post away!

Eastirrings

Certain events earlier this year caused me to think deeply about my relationship to my religion -- why I choose to practice the Christian faith as opposed to Buddhism, say, or Judaism, or simple old-fashioned atheism. My continued adherence to Christianity has been a question in my life for a while now, actually. . . . My college classes on the role of women in Christianity and on the historical roots of Christianity; the His Dark Materials trilogy; September 11 and the horrifyingly absolute religious certainty with which the terrorists drove the planes into the towers; my conservative Christian friend Hilary and her personal certainty regarding what God intends for her life (a certainty I've never been able to share): All of these things have led me to think much about whether God exists and whether Christianity is the way to approach Him. Then Heaven (ha) knows I don't want to be associated with the Christian right, who I almost invariably find insufferably self-righteous and way, way too prone to cast themselves as long-suffering victims of a secular world (she says with insufferable victimized-liberal self-righteousness). And perhaps most important of all, I do not feel a connection with God as often as I did in my more orthodox-Christian days, which grieves me, but which I do not make the effort to change.

Given all this, I've tended to described myself as a "Christian agnostic" the last few years rather than a plain straightforward Christian: I cannot and will not claim that the Bible is the absolute literal truth and the Christian God is the only God that should be worshiped, that Jesus Christ is the only way to salvation and everyone must be saved by him or be damned. I don't know or feel any of that enough to stake my identity on it. But I do believe in God; and as I thought about Christianity as a religion earlier this year, I realized that I believe fiercely in the values Jesus Christ represents as a symbol and a man: love for one's neighbor as for oneself; the humility that allowed him to sacrifice himself for others; forgiveness, which according to doctrine was the reason he died on the cross, so humankind could be cleansed of its sins; a desire for justice that reaches across all differences of race and gender and class; and all the fruits of the Spirit according to Paul: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, trustfulness, and self-control. I do not always manage to live by these things; indeed, sometimes I deliberately contravene them. But that is who I want to be and what I want my life to mean.

And, contrary to all conservatives, Christianity is the faith of radical change. Today is Easter, the day of Christ's resurrection. If you were raised in the church, as I was, this is such a commonplace fact that it's easy not to think about what it means: A man who was dead came back to life. What then shall be impossible? Love thy neighbor as thyself: If we all did this, who would go hungry? Love those that harm you, pray for those who persecute you: The mere act of looking beyond yourself is revolutionary. Easter means that all the old rules are gone: You can change your life; you can change the world. I want to live in that faith.

And that is why I am a Christian.

+++

Usually on Easter Sunday, I attend church in the morning, then take the N/R to 59th Street to walk up through Central Park -- saying hello to nature again after the winter's cold. This year, however, I went to a most excellent late lunch at Jeremiah and 2.0's (which nicely complemented my equally excellent dinner last night with Melissa and Mike). We ate lamb, potatoes, and asparagus, and talked long over wine and coffee; and as I walked back to my apartment, I saw the trees getting nobbly with buds and the first daffodils dumbly lifting their heads in Prospect Park. Spring is coming at last, even to the city. Happy Easter, everyone!

Harass Hasbro!

Posting very very quickly from work to say that if you know and like e-scrabble.com, PLEASE call Hasbro's Consumer Affairs line at 1-888-836-7025 to register your opinion on the takedown of the site. I called this morning and told them 1) it was the best Scrabble site out there and therefore 2) it actually increased my devotion to the game of Scrabble because I was able to play all the time, even with friends who were far away, so 3) please, please let the site continue to exist (or else maintain it in some FREE form on Hasbro's site), and 4) don't punish Jared (the site maintainer) because he was only acting in the service of Scrabble players everywhere. (Naive, perhaps, but what the hell.) This is a free phone call and, if you like Scrabble or hate big corporations, worth two minutes of your time. Thank you!

The Happy List, Part III

(Someday I will write the Annoyance List to balance out what could otherwise seem to be this rather painfully relentless cheeriness. Until then:)
  • Subway trains passing each other underground
  • My shiny red cordless phone
  • Architectural house plans
  • "Singin' in the Rain"
  • My New York hip-chick editor glasses
  • Copyediting
  • Art supply stores
  • Cadbury Fruit & Nut bars
  • The Chrysler Building, the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, and the Brooklyn Bridge (especially the Brooklyn Bridge)
  • Dialogue from screwball comedies and film noir
  • Dancing
  • Kissing
  • Bollywood movies (all 1.5 of them I've seen)
  • California rolls
  • Umbrellas
  • The New Yorker
  • the art of Henri Matisse
  • Fishnet stockings
  • Fractional birthdays
  • Being blonde
  • Snow

First Thing We Do, Let's Kill All the Lawyers.

First, Warner Brothers is putting the kibosh on "Wizard People, Dear Reader," an alternate soundtrack/narration to their merely competent film of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. I have never had the pleasure of seeing the performance, but I'm sure there's a lot that could be done with it, and it's too bad that it falls outside the limits of the corporation's sense of humor (as so many things associated with brands seem to do).

And then, what is much more distressing and in a small way life-altering to me: Hasbro is shutting down e-scrabble.com. E-scrabble.com has been one of the delights of my life for the past two years, thanks to its clean, ad-free interface; e-mailed turns that let users play at their leisure; a chat log to leave comments or hold conversations; and of course the way it offers the opportunity to play Scrabble with friends or strangers halfway across the country or even the world. I haven't seen any other Scrabble site to compare, and now . . . sigh. Damn intellectual property rights.

The Harry Potter Personality Quiz

I came across these Harry Potter personality test questions while browsing HP websites at work, and they amused me enough that I thought I would post my answers here. If you've read the books and have the time, I'd love it if you'd put your own answers in a comment. Thanks!

Where would the Sorting Hat put you? Ravenclaw, though I'm pleased to say I'm becoming more of a Gryffindor as I grow older.
Who (or what) would you stuff into the nearest Vanishing Cabinet? George W. Bush and everyone associated with his Administration.
What form would your boggart take? A tornado or a huge insect (especially a spider).
Where do you shop most in Diagon Alley? Flourish and Blotts
What corporeal form does your Patronus take? Per Katy and Ted's analysis of my daemon, it ought to be a swan.
Describe your wand: Applewood, twelve inches, containing four drops of rose oil, a pinch of salt, and a slip of parchment bearing the letter A.
Aunt Petunia has been taken hostage by the Death Eaters. You're leading the OotP rescue party. Who are you taking along? Lupin, Tonks, and Mad-Eye Moody, for wisdom, humor, and fierceness respectively.
Can you see Thestrals? No, thank God.
Who is your favorite Professor (aside from Dumbledore)? Minerva McGonagall
You have a single, one-hour dose of Polyjuice Potion brewed. Whose hair will you be dropping into it? Well, Voldemort's loose in the Wizarding world, so I don't really want to be anyone from there for a while. If I could step into other fictional worlds, Harriet Vane, Emma Woodhouse, or Stephen Maturin (this last for the fun of walking a tall ship for an hour, and not Jack because I wouldn't want the responsibilities); or in the real world, George W. Bush, because I'm sure I could say or do enough horrible things in the allotted time to screw him and his party over for the rest of his life.
What kind of broom do you fly? Cleansweep Seven -- old but stylish.
And finally, who is the Half-Blood Prince? (your top 3 picks) I'll just let y'all imagine the exceedingly smug and self-satisfied smile I'm wearing at the moment, and leave it at that. :-)

Wall to Wall till We Hit the Wall

A quick report on Wall to Wall: Stephen Sondheim yesterday: It was AMAZING. Elaine Stritch singing "The Ladies Who Lunch." Judy Kuhn and Michael Cerveris on "Loving You." Angela Lansbury (or as I kept referring to her in awe, "Angela 'Frickin' Lansbury!!!") performing "A Little Priest." Neil Patrick Harris (yes, the former Doogie Howser): "Finishing the Hat." Patti LuPone: "Being Alive." And the aforementioned panel with Joss Whedon, Frank Rich, and Mr. Sondheim! Ginny, Melissa, and I barely moved from our seats.

However, that could also be because of pure physical weakness, because we failed to take any food besides a single doughnut into this twelve-hour event. The first five or six hours weren't too bad, and we carefully rationed the doughnut among the three of us in one-sixth chunks; but when the doughnut was gone, round about 7 p.m., things started getting a little shaky, and by the end of the night, after Barbara Cook sang "In Buddy's Eyes" and Donna Murphy did "Losing My Mind" and all 75 candles had been blown out on Mr. Sondheim's cake, we were in a positive musical-theatre-bliss/lack-of-food delirium. We staggered from the theatre to a diner, where we could barely eat, and then home to Brooklyn and Staten Island; and I shall say only that the aftereffects of such starvation were very much like a hangover, with everything that implies. Today has been a good day, though, with lots of sleep and lots of food, and other than not having done nearly enough (or indeed any) work this weekend, I am ready to face tomorrow.

This has absolutely nothing to do with the previous topic, but here is the headline that has most delighted me this week, from World Ark magazine:

"Sometimes, Alpacas Do It Better."

Can't argue with that. :-)

Nanny nanny boo boo! I'm not working!

ARGH. I was writing a post with the title above and then Blogger ate it. Bad Blogger. Well, that gives you the tenor of my week, if you're interested: I feel like I am daring greatly by not reading/editing a manuscript in the evening -- and indeed, it's the first time this week I haven't done so. Instead I went to an art reception, then out for a St. Patrick's Day drink and potatoes with my friend Ben, and now I am sitting here posting to my blog. Yes, I defy thee, Gods of Work! I laugh in the face of thy manuscript piles! Ha!

In other news. The good Viacimo directed me to Overheard in New York, which is fantastic. Ginny and Melissa and maybe Ben and I are making plans for Wall-to-Wall Sondheim at Symphony Space on Saturday, which should be awesome -- Joss Whedon, Frank Rich, and Stephen Sondheim in one room! Squee! The presentations I was procrastinating on last week went well. I am going to Germany the last week in April with five other children's book editors. Recent reading: a book called Her First American, by Lore Segal, which I liked but didn't quite love. Katy and I have reservations to see the Before Sunrise / Before Sunset double feature that's part of the Reverse Shot Film Festival April 2-9, and everyone who reads this and lives in New York should come out and see it too.

I will have more to say of significance next time, I promise. Or else I'll post a really long poem by Bob Dylan. Or both.